Most people get excited about their golden birthday and for good reason. It seems so monumental to finally hit that year. I still have a couple of years to go before I can claim mine, however. Strangely enough, my excitement wasn’t over turning 27 on the 27th. I had a strange hope and anticipation about year 25.
Months before my 25th birthday, the Lord spoke to me concerning this year and placed an expectancy in my heart. While I didn’t know the specifics, I was absolutely sure that this year was so crucial and that it would be the spark of something new and big. I spent a lot of time in prayer for this change and even joyfully shared my promise with my mom, my spouse, and a friend. I knew that year 25 would carry with it change that would involve my ministry and calling. At the time, I couldn’t have known how true that was.
The most beautiful thing was occurring inside of me on my 25th birthday, and I had no idea. I couldn’t fathom that my little man was already there, right on time, as God had spoken. He promised great and new things with year 25, and there he was. When I first felt that stirring in my heart, I had NO idea that it meant motherhood. I honestly wasn’t prepared to open my heart to the thought until April 2, when I decided to trust the Lord wholeheartedly in that area. Even then, it never occurred to me that the Lord had our little one in mind all along. Honestly, I thought He intended to open doors for me to write and speak. I didn’t know how this could come about though, because I had absolutely no time.
One thing I now know is that an overly busy schedule can allow no room for quick obedience. Time and time again, I lamented that the Lord wasn’t opening any doors for ministry like He once did. One afternoon, I felt the Holy Spirit gently reply. He revealed to me that I had allowed Him no time. Every morsel of my time was already consumed by responsibilities and activities. I was completely booked. It was then that I realized that I had taken on more than He had asked of me. I had blindly said, “yes” to every obligation without even seeking Him. I think we all too often fill our schedules with things that He never asked us to take on. Then, we’re too busy to do what He’s actually called us to do. I had to take a step back and ask Him what He wanted to stay and what should go. When I did this and truly sought His will, the answer was clear. I knew what to let go and where to continue serving.
I’ve always felt called to write and to speak, and I definitely assumed that the Lord was referring to that draw on my life when He created an excitement in me for year 25. Maybe in some ways He was. Maybe this time at home with my son will open up the doors to do those things more frequently. But even if it doesn’t, I will choose to be content. I’m content to wait on the Lord. I’m content to free my schedule for time with Him and time serving where He draws me. I’m content to recognize the mighty calling of raising a man of God, a man who fiercely follows after Christ and walks in purity and righteousness. I want to be mindful of the importance of raising tiny disciples within my home. I can’t think of a more beautiful calling.
*Originally posted on 8/1/17 on my previous site